Monday, February 25, 2008

Melody's Wish

I have a post of a different nature tonight. I want to tell you about a friend of mine who has asked for help. Melody and I have been friends since we were 12 and became very close friends in high school. We did pretty well staying in touch after our high school graduation, but lost track of each other about a year after our 10-year reunion. When our 20-year reunion was approaching, I was pregnant with the girls. I told DH I really wanted to go to the reunion simply to try to reconnect with Mel, but I knew I’d probably be on bed rest by then; the reunion date was less than two months before my delivery date. Then a crazy thing happened. About two weeks before the reunion, I was sent over to our area high risk specialist for monitoring. As I was sitting in the doctor’s office waiting for my appointment, a tall blonde woman, looking remarkably like Mel, walked in and sat down with her husband. She looked to be fairly close to delivery as well. Not wanting to embarrass myself, I casually walked over to the front desk to look at the sign-in sheet. Though I didn’t recognize the last name, I recognized Melody’s handwriting immediately. It was Mel! I sat down next to her, and she had the same reaction I did. It was Kelly!

Since then, we’ve had so much to catch up on. She delivered Wyatt about three weeks before Sarah and Olivia were born; we were both early and delivered by emergency c-section. As we started talking more and more again, we learned we had both lost our moms about the same time, hers to cancer. We had also both gone through extensive infertility treatments for our little bundles of joy. When she was pregnant with her second child, Nathan, also conceived through IVF, a mutual friend of ours lost a baby to SIDS, but we didn’t know it was a mutual friend until it happened. The baby was one of twins, and the father worked with Mel. She emailed me asking if I knew anyone with that last name in my twins group; I checked our roster, but the name didn’t strike me as a member. But a moment later something else did. Melody is a police officer. I dated a guy in college who is also a JSO officer with that last name. I called her immediately, and I still remember the heartbreak of that realization. They had been working together for years, and we never knew the connection. Miracle of all miracles, that old boyfriend and his wife welcomed a second set of twins just six days before the one-year anniversary of their loss. And on my birthday, no less!

So back to Melody and her wish. Having had some bad luck in love, she waited until she was in a truly stable marriage before trying to have children, then learned that that was not going to be as simple as she and Mike had hoped. She’s experienced a few miscarriages along the way to her two beautiful boys, yet she’s always imagined having a large family with three or four children. She’s been through two more rounds of IVF but hasn't had any luck and knows she's running out of time. She told me about her childhood memories of traveling to Disney World with her cousins in tow, made all the more fun because of the sheer number of youngsters going. She wants that for Wyatt and Nathan…another sibling or two to make great memories with. Before the death of her mom, she and her sister had drifted apart a bit, but they’ve now rekindled their relationship and she’s very thankful for that. Five years older, Kerri can fill in holes that Mel can’t remember about their early childhood. She wants that for Wyatt and Nathan…another sibling or two to help get them through life’s trials. Furthermore, Mel was 38 when Wyatt was born and 41 when Nathan was born. She’s realistic; as sad as it may be, she and Mike may not get to meet their grandchildren here on Earth. She wants that for Wyatt and Nathan…another sibling or two to share their lives with after she and Mike are gone.

So Melody’s wish is to have another child, yet she can’t do this on her own. She needs help. She and Mike are now hoping to adopt, though she is also open to surrogacy even though she knows chances of finding a surrogate are very slim. They're working with a lawyer who has encouraged them to share their wish with anyone who will listen, as many adoptions happen through connections like what can be generated here. So that is Melody’s wish. And my wish? My wish is that you will share this. Share it with your friends and family, for you never know who may have the answer for a family in need and a family with hope. If you hear of any leads, please have them email me and I’ll connect them with Melody and Mike.

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