When Life Gives You a Gut Punch

 

Checking in here with a little life update as I've been very absent from this space. We've just had a really tough couple of years around here! My girls got my husband this shirt for Father's Day. It's a joke, yes, though he really is quite the farter. Sadly, that is also one of the side effects of chemotherapy, and this photo was taken on day one of cycle three of his chemo journey. 

In April, my Mister was diagnosed with stage IV cholangiocarcinoma, a rare and aggressive cancer that starts in the bile ducts of the liver. Unfortunately, this is a type of cancer that is most often not discovered until it’s very advanced. Everything happened very quickly as our first hint that anything was wrong was just the first week of March when he went in for some routine blood work for his regular checkup. Following that discovery, he went through quite a bit more blood work, along with a sonogram, CT scan, and a biopsy. He started receiving a chemotherapy and immunotherapy cocktail infusion in late April and will continue with that for 12-15 weeks. 

 

Following that, the plan is to continue with monthly immunotherapy infusions, all with the goal of stabilizing things to keep the tumors from spreading or getting larger. The cancer is too far advanced for either surgery or a liver transplant, but with this treatment plan, we’re hopeful he’s got a few more good years ahead. With the chemo starting in late April, he’ll hopefully be through with that portion of his treatment before class starts back in late August so he can continue teaching the next generation of welders. 

 

Cycle 4 of chemo starts this Friday, and he has his next PET scan July 8. His treatment is through UFHealth, and we’re very happy with his team, led by Dr. Joseph Mignone. I had a great experience with UFHealth with my total knee replacement last Fall, and we feel he is in good hands for this journey. This has been a super gut punch, but my Mister is working through it with his trademark humor, and we're tackling projects around the house he feels up to to keep his mind off things. Our girls are home for the summer, so it's been a blessing for him to have them here. We appreciate all the prayers and good mojo you can send us on this totally unexpected journey. 

Sunday Gratitude and Sparkly Things

 

Hello friends! Happy New Year! I don't know you about you, but I'm glad to have made it past 2025; it was definitely a challenging year. Here's to brighter days ahead! I was pretty absent from this space in 2025, short of a few "here's what happening in my crazy life" updates, but I'm hoping to get myself back on track this year. If you're still here, please know how much I appreciate you following along. 

With everything I went through in 2025, I tried to keep up my creativity, but even that came to a screeching halt when my dad passed unexpectedly in the midst of my sister and me helping him work through some major life changes. I always post my creative work on my Instagram, and the last time I posted anything creative there, short of the amazing creations that are my daughters, was in July. This bracelet is the first little piece of creativity I've added to the world since then! And I owe a debt of gratitude to my daughters for it. While they were home in Jacksonville for the Christmas break, in addition to helping me continue to recover from my total knee replacement in October, they were determined to get me back in my studio. One dragged me down there in the hopes of me creating a couple things for her and a couple presents for her friends, thus this bracelet! One of her friends loves mixed metals, so we came up with this piece using 14K gold-filled wire and sparkly silver metallic Czech glass beads. Super simple piece, and we both loved the way it came out. 

But really, in addition to just getting me down there to make something "so you can get back to yourself, Mama," they really put in the work to make that possible. They sent me upstairs to ice my knee and then proceeded to totally clean up and organize (as much as humanly possible with the amount of supplies and interests I have) my art studio workspace. Now that I'm back home in Jacksonville, I have far less space, so it's no easy task getting - and keeping - it organized. Add to that my ADHD brain, and things can get - and stay - pretty messy down there. My goal this year is to put up the supplies I was working with before moving on to something else! 

Another way I hope to corral my ADHD brain this year, in my creative work anyway, is to try working in collections. I tend to bounce from thing to thing and back again pretty quickly, so I'm going to work on roping that in a bit. We'll see how it goes! I may bring Free Bling Friday back this year as well, still considering that. I do love sending my little pieces of creativity out into the world, even it's sometimes for free! 

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Total Knee Replacement Surgery is Not for the Faint of Heart

 

I’m four weeks and a day post total knee replacement surgery today, so I thought I’d share an update … along with my super sexy outfit for the day. I will say the first time I tried to put the compression socks on by myself, about 2 weeks post surgery, it took me about 20 minutes and required a post-battle nap, but I’m getting better at getting them on now!

Surgical bandage was removed 10/30 and steri-strips applied - those are very similar to butterfly bandages. The steri-strips fall off when they are ready, and I’d say I’m down to about half of them now. The lovely 9” incision is healing well. It’s covered by the knee sleeve in this pic.

PT is serious hard work, y’all! My therapists have determined the natural makeup of my knees are just a little crooked, and my surgical knee still has quite a bit of scar tissue left over from my 2012 surgery on that same knee. So at therapy this past Monday, Dom decided he was going to tackle that scar tissue. He took a metal tool that resembled a butter knife and then with full strength of his very strong arms, pushed the metal along the side of my knee where he felt the most scar tissue .. and did that for about 15 minutes. This is called the Graston Technique. Holy hell!!! I have not cried at PT and the only thing that kept me from crying then was Lori squeezing my hand and acting like a Lamaze coach telling me to breathe! I think that might have been just as painful as those first couple days when the nerve block wore off!

Anywho, back to PT tomorrow. I go twice a week and have quite a few exercises I do at home three to five times a day, and then ice and elevate after each session. I’m back to working half days (obvi from home since I can’t drive yet), basically alternating working for an hour with my exercises, icing, and elevating for an hour until Benny gets home from work. Then once he’s home and I have adult supervision so I don’t fall, I get on our stationary bike for a bit. I’m getting about a 50% rotation on the bike and a 90 degree bend on my knee at this point. The goal by end of therapy is 115-120 degree bend by 12-15 weeks.

Things I’ve learned in the event you have a total knee replacement in your future: So, the pain pills … while they are super important in the first week or so, and definitely get ahead of the pain you will feel when the surgical nerve block wears off anywhere from 24-36 hours post surgery, I stopped taking them after the first week because I much preferred to drop the kids off at the pool, shall we say. One of the side effects of the pain pills is severe constipation, so hindsight 20/20, I’d recommend taking a laxative every time you take a pain pill! And back to the nerve block: those first 24-36 hours you will feel like “Heck! This isn’t bad at all!” … and then that nerve block wears off quite suddenly and you are now regretting your life’s choices. Get ahead of that pain! Unfortunately my pharmacy did not have the pain pills in immediately, so my nerve block wore off before my pain pills hit. It was not pretty. There were definitely tears. The second thing I'd make you aware of is the fatigue. I literally need to rest after taking a shower! Doc said that fatigue lasts a good 12-16 weeks. It’s getting better, but I still tire pretty easily. I’d also recommend some mental health therapy. My therapist Dom has a background in sports psychology so we talked about this a bit. As someone who is used to being constantly on the go - and likes being constantly on the go - the clipping of my wings has been really hard on me. Not being able to drive has been challenging; I’ve had great help from friends and Benny getting me to PT, but simply not being able to jump in the car and run out for an errand has been really mentally hard on me. I thought I’d be able to enjoy some downtime in my art studio but that hasn’t worked out because I can’t be on my feet for long due to trying to keep the swelling down. I have my next appt with the surgeon 11/25, so I’m gonna recommend to him that he consider adding a little mental health therapy to the physical therapy for future patients.

All in all, my PTs tell me I’m progressing well. I will say it has been pretty humbling. I was in pretty good shape going into this - I’ve been athletic all my life and work out regularly. And while I’m sure that helped me some, this is still a very difficult recovery. I remember my primary care doc (whom I love!) kinda chuckling and saying “Well, you realize this is kinda like an amputation, right? They basically take your leg apart, saw some bone off, and put it back together with new pieces…” and me saying “Thanks, Dr Allen, that’s exactly what I needed to hear!” When I told that story to the PA removing my surgical bandage, he too kinda chuckled and said “He’s not wrong!”

In addition to being four weeks post surgery, I’m also four weeks until I go to NYC for a Christmas trip! Realistically I won’t be 100% by then, but prayers up I’ll be strong enough to make it work with some icing and elevating breaks worked in!

When Plans Change

Heads up: long, personal story post coming up … My husband always says, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans,” his way of saying those plans rarely go the way you’ve planned. 

Dad on his 80th Birthday

I shared back in this post that my sister and I were helping our Dad though a major life change. That major life change was a divorce, not of his choosing, at 80. His now former wife, Kathy, who filed the papers, is 78; she was his third wife, and they had been married nearly 28 years. When preparing to write this post, I noticed that the last time I posted here was August 6. Friday, August 8, my Dad died suddenly and unexpectedly of an apparent heart attack. As I had feared when I first learned of the divorce, the stress of the situation ultimately took his life.  

Because Dad passed prior to the divorce being final, Kathy got everything she wanted … him out of her life AND his social security and life insurance. To add insult to injury, my sister and I were paying Dad’s attorney’s fees because Kathy controlled all the money in the relationship other than his monthly social security payments, and she even refused to reimburse my sister and me the funds we spent on his behalf for the divorce she wanted.  

The previous four and a half months had been really challenging helping him through the divorce and working through what the next stage of his life would look like post-divorce. He and Kathy adopted Kathy’s grandson as an infant, so they were parenting a 12-year-old at the time of his passing. My sister and I knew that once the divorce was final, Dad would be living a pretty sad existence in an apartment, as he wanted to stay in West Palm Beach to be near the child. So when I learned of his passing, it was one of those surreal moments in which I really didn’t know how to feel. On one hand, I was sad that I’d lost my father, but on the other hand, I was relieved for him that he was no longer in that horrible situation. It’s been three months now, and I’m still wrapping my head around it. As life goes sometimes, it’s not lost on me that I also lost my mother – to suicide – in the middle of her going through a divorce from her third husband. 

Books - The House in the Cerulean Sea Duology by T.J. Klune

Ya'll! Read these books! I'll just start with that. I had been hearing about The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune for quite a while and kept trying to catch it at my favorite used bookstore - Chamblin Bookmine - but they never had it. Apparently people don't give it up! And now, I am one of those people! This book has earned a permanent spot on my bookshelves.  

Here's a quick summary: The House in the Cerulean Sea is a heartwarming novel about Linus Baker, a caseworker who investigates magical orphanages. Assigned to Marsyas Island Orphanage, he encounters six unusual magical children and their charming caretaker, Arthur. Linus's life transforms as he grapples with his own prejudices and discovers the true meaning of family, love, and acceptance. The story explores themes of found family, prejudice, and the power of empathy. That's your basic Google AI summary. But, oh my goodness, this book is so special. I laughed, I cried, I got angry, I laughed again, I cried again, I got angry again, and I just didn't want the book to end. There were several laugh out loud moments for me, but the one that got me the best involved my home state. I won't spoil it for you, but I'm guessing even folks not from Florida will laugh at that one. 

 

The large majority of our book club loved this book as well. There are some themes that may make some folks uncomfortable, and honestly from my perspective, I truly hope those folks read the book even more. One of the magical children is the antichrist, at seven years old, named Lucy. I thought the author handled this beautifully  - it is a fantasy story, after all! - but the very religious may feel otherwise. The other magical children included a wyvern named Theodore, a shape shifter named Sal, a garden gnome named Talia, a girl who could make trees named Phee, and a big watery blob named Chauncey who just wanted to be a bellhop. Adult caretakers Arthur and Zoe are also magical, but I won't spoil their magic for you! It's a beautiful story about accepting others for who they are, tolerance of differences, fighting for those you love, and love in all forms. When I finished this one, I immediately wanted to start it again. And then...

The sequel came out!! Yay!! Somewhere Beyond the Sea came out in September 2024 and picked up right where The House in the Cerulean Sea left off. I enjoyed this one just as much and rooted along for Linus and Arthur as they continued to fight for a world that accepted the beauty found in all of us, no matter how different we may look. I found both of these books to be true balms for the soul is this time of division and political turmoil that we are experiencing here in the United States. I read some pretty heavy stuff sometimes with my love of historical fiction, and sometimes I need what my next door neighbor called a "palate cleanser" of a book. These two books definitely deal with heavy topics, yet they do it in a way that hopefully opens your eyes to the treasures we can find in each other if we just take the time to truly get to know that person rather than judge them by their appearance, difference, ability or disability. The pair has made it to my top 10 all favorite books list.