Friday, January 21, 2011

Flashback Friday: Perceptions

I got an email from my father with the subject line “This is our old house!” I looked at this picture but didn’t recognize the house, so I asked him the address. He couldn’t remember the address but said it was the one by the old Levitz and the arch in North Miami; we lived there through my elementary school years. I immediately emailed back with, “17045 N.W. 11th Avenue, 305-620-0367. I remember the house being pale yellow with a big tree in the front yard.” Dad said that, yes, it had been yellow with a big tree in the front yard. I remember that Dad’s boat was always parked on the trailer on the side of the house where that car sits now. It was a pale blue boat with a large number 44 painted on the side. Dad was a daredevil, racing both boats and motorcycles when I was a kid, probably why speed is still in my blood today. My friend Timmy lived two doors down, and my best friend Terri lived around the block. My mom and dad were good friends with Carol and Wally across the street; they had children, too, but I can’t remember their names. They were even younger than I. Dad was down in Miami on business, and when he saw that old arch, he became curious about the old neighborhood and found the house. That address was the opening line of this emotionally raw essay.

It’s fascinating to me how our perceptions change as we grow up. When I was a child, that house seemed huge! But thinking back now and seeing this picture, obviously it was quite small. Dad said it was about 800-900 square feet, three bedrooms, one bath. I remember there being a Magnolia tree in the corner of the back yard. I think the tree in the front yard was a Magnolia as well. Based on this little house, I guess we didn’t have much money growing up, but I clearly remember that I never lacked for anything I needed in those days. My mom was a nurse and my dad worked more than one job while going to school at night; they were twenty when they were married in May and I was born in December of the same year. It wasn’t until I grew up that I realized that math didn’t work out quite right. :-)

There was an elementary school at the end of our street, but because of the times and busing in Miami in an effort to better integrate schools, we weren’t districted for that school. I was to ride the bus to a school on the other side of town. Instead, my parents put me in a private Christian school closer to home, where I was sent home more than once, a tomboy rebelling against the “dress” code by wearing pants. My sister was also born in Miami, but then we moved to St. Petersburg before she was a year old. We were in St. Pete for two years before my parents divorced, and Mom, Kim and I moved here to the Jacksonville area to be near my Nana and Granddaddy.

My girls and I were driving through “the old neighborhood” a while back, and I showed them the house their daddy lived in when we met and where we lived together for six and a half years. “It’s so small!” they both said. It was about 1,000 square feet, three bedrooms, one bath, built in the ‘50s, a cute little concrete rancher in a neighborhood that has now experienced its own share of neglect. Once we were ready to get started building our current home, we put that house up for sale on a Friday, and I went over to Tallahassee for a football game. When I got back that Sunday, DH had already sold the house. We didn’t expect things to happen quite that quickly! Luckily, DH’s daddy’s house was vacant at the time, so we were able to move in there, the very house DH was born and raised in. It was about the size and age of my childhood house, and we lived there for the nearly year and a half it took us to build our home.

I think of my perception of my house when I was in elementary school and wonder what my girls think now. Our house is not overly large by any means, especially when I think about the houses my mother and her third husband lived in and the homes of many of my friends, but yes, we are blessed to have a river in the back yard. It’s interesting for me to see how my girls react to the houses of their friends. They have commented that their friends’ houses are smaller than ours…but they’ve also commented that their friends have “soooo many toys!!!” Maybe that’s perception, too, a perception on what’s really needed. In their friends’ houses, yes, there are lots and lots and lots of toys. Here at our house, sure, the girls have some toys, but we try our best not to give in to every new toy on the market and instead encourage playing outside, making art, playing games together, and playing with the toys they already have. They always have their favorites anyways, don’t they (and the piano makes a great fort)? They do not have any video games and we limit their TV and computer time. I don’t remember having a lot of toys. But I do remember always being outside playing, whether in the back yard, over with Timmy, around the block with Terri, or a combination of all the above.

I know you’ve probably heard that old saying about wanting more for your kids than you had as a kid. I wonder if in these days of excess and social media overload if that line of thinking can be a slippery slope. Maybe going back to those simpler days of no internet, no video games, fewer toys and more time playing outside is what our kids, and we, really need. That’s where memories are made.

Visit Tia's blog for more Friday flashbacks.


lori vliegen said...

i'm with you, kelly.....the simpler life is, the better! i loved reading your memories.....thanks for sharing them with us! xox

Karen Faulkner said...

I really enjoyed this post Kelly! Remembering our roots is so important, whatever we aspire to and achieve, wherever our travels take us.

Becca said...

I loved reading about your memories Kelly. I don't have children, but I have lived in the same town all my life, and I can remember my neighborhood, the kids I would walk to school with, part of the way was through the desert (who lets their kids do that now?) Being able to play outside until the street lights came on, and riding my Big Wheel down to the stop sign and back...oh and running out to meet the popsicle man when you heard the song. I could go on and on...times have changed. I think it was a good childhood & I hope children now days will be able to cherish memories from long ago like we do! :-) Hugs, Becca

Anonymous said...

Ah, I agree. There's a fine line when all this technology becomes too much. Even though I've tried to live more simply in the past, this year it's one of my resolutions to live EVEN MORE simply.


Kim said...

I lived in four different houses in elementary school. The first two were military base housing, the third was a rental and the fourth was the first house my parents owned and built themselves. That was the house in Orange Park and it felt like a mansion compared to the previous homes. I agree how different perceptions are when you are a child. It's definitely weird going back to those places after years away! And here's to more outdoors and free play time! My kids can't even just look out the window in the car anymore....they always have to be DOING something!

Becky Shander said...

When it comes to toys I would agree that simple is good and that less is more. With having "less", there would be "more" opportunities to stretch the imagination. Indoors or out, pretend play was always a favorite.

ELLIE said...

I loved your post - there was a class reunion at my old highschool up north and since I could not go I asked a friend to take pics of the house I grew up in (very very small town) and when he sent them to me - WOW - the memories came flooding back and the house looked a bit different and I must have stared at the pics for hours - lost track of time - thanks for sharing your memories!!!