I completed this spread in one of my art journals recently. "You can do
anything, but you can't do everything." This is something that I have to remind myself of often. I saw a video posted by @awomancalledgeorge
over on Instagram recently (I LOVE her) that really struck a chord with me. She shared that
she had been diagnosed with adult ADHD and was struggling with that. As
I listened to what led her to be formally assessed, I was shaking my
head "yes, that's me too" constantly. (And it's not lost on me that
perhaps that's why I relate to this woman so much in general) I'd never
really thought about it, but once I did, I realized I have a lot of, um, tendencies? (not really sure what to call them? behaviors?
characteristics? habits? tendencies?) that truly did point to that. So I
took a free online adult ADHD test, and then another, and then another,
and then another. I took at least four or five over the course of a few weeks. The questions varied,
but the results of all of them pointed to the same thing: that I
definitely show clear signs of adult ADHD. I talked to my husband about
it, and he said, "well, duh." Reassuring, right? But he knows me well.
Most of the studies for ADHD have been done on young boys. The studies have just recently started to look at adults, mostly men. Yet, I feel quite certain that there are a boat load of women who also struggle with this and haven't really put a name to it yet. But like George said in her video, now what? I've been considering talking to a therapist about a formal assessment just so that I could learn some management strategies that might help me feel less like a hamster on a running wheel, but then again, if I do that and have my suspicions confirmed, truly then what? I feel like I've lived my whole life this way ... constantly feeling like I need to be doing something, difficulty truly relaxing (because I should be doing something!), difficulty falling asleep at night because I can't turn off my brain, incredibly easily distracted, world class procrastinator, etc ... and I've done pretty well for myself, both personally and professionally. So, I don't know. I don't feel that I'd even be remotely interested in taking pharmaceuticals for it, but I would be open to learning some coping techniques. It's definitely given me more things to think about to keep from falling asleep at night. Anyone else feel this way?
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