Just over a week ago, I learned that my very dear friend and long time mentor BJ Hausman had passed away the previous day. Last Sunday, I attended her memorial service. We had been friends for 33 years, and in that 33 years, her impact on my life was immeasurable, both professionally and personally.
BJ was the person who started my Student Leadership Development career. And she also was the gardener who planted the seed that became my creative business. But first, let's talk my professional career. In 1992, BJ hired me to lead a new Student Leadership development grant program at Florida Community College at Jacksonville, now Florida State College at Jacksonville. She said that while I didn't yet have the Student Development experience for the position, she selected me because I had the marketing and public relations experience the project needed to get off the ground, and she knew she could teach me the rest. And that she did. I would not be in the role I am in now without BJ. Truly!
Just as the grant term was ending in 1994, BJ got a promotion to another Student Activities position at North Campus, which opened up her spot at Kent Campus for me, and I became the Kent Campus Coordinator of Student Activities. I sat in the very office she hired me from, and every day I looked at the map on my wall of what Jacksonville looked like in 1972, a map the person who previously occupied that same office, Dr. Milt Russos (another great mentor of mine), had added to the space when it was built in 1978. (Milt was the very first Student Activities coordinator at the college, but that's a whole other story!) When BJ got a promotion to dean in 2004, that opened up her spot as Collegewide Coordinator of Student Life and Leadership Development, and Dr. Russos selected me for that role. I stayed in that role until November 2014, when I left the college, 22 years after BJ first hired me, and took my current position as Executive Director of the Florida College System Activities Association. But there's more to how I landed this role! It's really all BJ!
You see, less than two months after I started as Kent Campus Coordinator of Student Activities in 1994, BJ shared with me that within our district for Student Government for the state, District 2 at the time, all the advisors in the district had previously drawn straws to determine the order for whom would serve as the district advisor. As luck would have it, the straw for Kent Campus was up, and even though I'd only been on the job for six weeks, it was my turn! Talk about on-the-job training!
Once I settled into my role as Florida College System Student Government Association (FCSSGA) District 2 Advisor, I couldn't figure out why the advisors had had to draw straws. Why didn't they want the role? I LOVED IT! It truly was a trial by fire, as they say, but I learned so much in that role and happily continued to volunteer to serve in that role for three years. Following that, I served two years as FCSSGA conference coordinator, and then four years as FCSSGA State Advisor. All these were volunteer roles that I did while serving in my role on campus, with BJ as my supervisor, mentor, and friend. As part of my role as FCSSGA State Advisor, I sat on the The Florida College System Activities Association Executive Committee from 1999-2003. That is the very same organization I now lead as Executive Director. So, yes, as you can see, I absolutely would not be in the role I am now without BJ Hausman. Full circle.
BJ retired from FSCJ in 2015 and went on to become a master gardener in her retirement. Though I was now working in Tallahassee, Jacksonville was still home, and BJ and I got together for lunch every time I came home for a week or two. It was after she became a master gardener that she gave me permission to, "Throw away that darn plant when it dies! You don't have to save them all!" Though I'm still overrun with plants, I can't tell you the measure of peace she gave me with that permission!
I learned so much from B.J., both as a student development professional, and as a friend and a mother. When I learned of her passing, memories with her started flooding my brain. I remember BJ helping me create my wedding invitations after work there at Kent Campus in 1995. I remember super fun late night games of Balderdash at the FSCJ Outdoor Center when we'd take our students there for SGA retreats. I remember her pulling a bottle of wine out of her suitcase at the first National Association of Campus Activities conference she took me to, her saying, "Trust me, we're gonna need this before this weekend is over!" I remember her love of everything crafty, and me teaching her how to make jewelry and books, and her trying to teach me how to quilt. I remember her and my husband Benny always talking NASCAR (BJ LOVED NASCAR!). I remember her coordinating a shower for me there on campus when I was pregnant with my girls. I remember an absolutely hilarious moment during an SGA retreat activity (Acid River) while BJ and I were facilitating the group across the "river," and Walter Fitzpatrick came running around the corner of the canoe barn, yelling and screaming like a crazy man trying to throw the students off track. Of course, he threw all of us off track, and BJ just threw her hands up laughing, "Well, I guess we're through with that one! Thanks, Walter!" And even in sad times, BJ was there for me. When I lost my mom to suicide in 1999, she was one of the main people who helped me through those dark days following my mom's death.
When I learned of her passing, the group photo above also popped into my head, and I'm so glad I was able to find it. This was taken in 1993 (you can't miss me in that bright, polka-dotted dress). I remember that day so clearly. It was a collegewide Student Activities staff training day that BJ put together. One of the exercises BJ walked us through was imagining where and what we might be doing 15 years from that day and draw a picture of it. I didn't think about a work "thing," which was probably the goal, but I drew a funky, colorful little house that represented the creative business I hoped to one day have. I described it as a happy little shack where friends and I could create happy, colorful memories with whatever art supplies we could get our fingers on. As mentioned, that was in 1993. Twelve years later, in 2005, I started that very business and named it Happy Shack Designs. From 2005 until the day she died, BJ was truly the biggest cheerleader for my little creative business. I lost count of the number of pair of earrings, bracelets, and handmade journals she purchased from me over the years. I imagine her husband Harry going through her jewelry box and finding so many. So, not only do I credit my professional career to BJ; I also credit her with giving me the courage to start my creative business. Still chugging along 20 years later, I don't expect that my little creative business will ever become my sole source of income, but it's provided me the opportunity to explore all sorts of creative outlets.
So thank you, BJ. You were most certainly a gift to my life, and I'm grateful to have had 33 years of friendship with you. You literally and figuratively watched me grow up. Things are most definitely a little dimmer here on Earth now while the great beyond has gained a beautifully bright new star ... and a new NASCAR announcer. I love you, my sweet friend. Sending all my love to BJ's sweet husband Harry, her kids Jason and Ashley, and her sweet grands she loved to brag on so much.
No comments:
Post a Comment