Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Behind the Camera: Out There...

This picture was starring back at me when I powered up my computer this morning, and it's just stuck with me all day. Another one of my favorites, I think the girls weren't quite a year old here. I call the picture "Out There....". And I realized there's much more to the concept of "out there" than what's sitting on your back deck just outside your French doors. Leah's Creative Every Day blog directed me to another post a couple weeks ago on Christine Kane's blog about procrastination and taking chances that really hit home with me, making me take a closer look at life in general, not just life as art. I will definitely be visiting Christine's blog more often!

As I shared after my playdate with Wyanne, I've been wanting to branch out and try new things with my art. Time is certainly a factor, but so is procrastination and fear. The fear of failing, the fear of looking like an idiot, the fear of people thinking "just who the heck does she think she is anyways?" That's always there. Sometimes procrastination, for me anyway, can be the result of a lack of confidence. "If only I have that one more batch of supplies, I'll be able to try that," I'll tell myself. Wyanne said she once had that same paralysis clouding her vision. Yet I know the supplies have nothing to do with it, as my DH will attest to considering the mountain of art supplies I have taking over my workshop. Have you ever experienced that in life? That procrastination brought on by fear? I know it hits me often.

Then there's that other "out there" I've been thinking about. I'm in one of those catch 22's of life. I love what I do everyday (okay, most days anyway...). Working in Student Life is definitely an experience like no other; the bonds I've made with students are irreplaceable, and sure, I do get to have a lot of fun sometimes. It's hard to beat a four-day trip to New York City. Yet it's also a very demanding field, both in time and in energy, and because of that, there is a lot of turnover in this field. At times I consider shifting over to teaching full time should that opportunity present itself. I'm teaching a class this term; I enjoy it, and it would certainly give me more time and less work travel...yet I'd really miss the types of relationships I develop working with students in the role that I do now. So what do you do? I'm not quite sure. I guess there's give and take, good and bad in everything, and it comes down to weighing the options.

And that comes back to the "out there". We never really know what's "out there" until we actually go out there....whether that be putting that first dab of paint on a new art project, considering a change in career, or even just trying to make a new friend by reaching out to a fellow mom at the playground. I guess it comes down to pushing that procrastination and fear aside and just taking that first step, whichever way it may lead you. So are you ready to take yours?

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1 comment:

e. beck said...

i found you on wyanne's blog .... your twin photo made me stop and look even longer .... i just posted pics of my twins .... today is their birthday .... lovely blog! happy twins to you ..... e